Sometimes offensive, mostly defenseless

This is where my feelings go

My grandpa died when I was 19, I was half a world away, I don’t think it hit me as hard as it should have. It was the first time I dealt with the death of a relative, or anyone close to me for that matter. I guess to some extent I feel sheltered, and quite frankly very fortunate that I haven’t had to experience the hurt of losing someone I’m close to. That said, this year I have seen my friends go through the deaths of their close friends, people I only kind-of knew. 

Seeing your friends hurt over the loss of their close people is only a sliver of what they are feeling, but it’s still heartbreaking to see. I am saddened to see such a bright soul leave us prematurely. It feels surreal to know that such a bright, smart, witty kid is gone and he doesn’t get to experience everything that we still have a crack at. It’s a fact of life that people my age die, it’s just jarring when “people” becomes “people you know.” 

I’m scared of the day that someone I deeply care for dies. I don’t know how I’ll react, and I hope my support system will be there for me the same way that has created support for his family. I’d like to think I’d be strong and stoic, but I haven’t felt that hurt. I hope I don’t have to feel it soon.

Jasen, it was a pleasure getting to know you. You were always a laugh and I always thought you had all the potential in the world. It’s terrible that this happened to you of all people, and wherever you end up I hope it is leaps and bounds above everything you were going to accomplish here. RIP

Sometimes I don’t understand how minuscule my issues are compared to other people. I see my friends dealing with way heavier shit than I do, and they keep a brave face through waaaaay more than I am moping about. I can’t justify being sad about stuff when I hear about the troubles of those around me. It’s selfish, but it makes me feel better.


when mcdonalds accidentally gives you an extra chicken nuggetimage






I don’t think google gets enough credit sometimes


I don’t think google gets enough credit sometimes